Monthly Archives: April 2019

Sabbath Rest

Posted on by under Faithfulness, Rest

At times, my counseling sessions can be intense and hard, both emotionally and physically exhausting. As I remember more and more of the horrible events of my “blackout years,” I feel psychologically drained and bodily taxed. When this happens, I sometimes neglect my journal and my writing. Then, when I don’t write, I don’t get to release all those feelings about what I am going through.

As I write this devotional, it is Easter, but I do not feel up to the holiday season. I am struggling still with who I am as a person, and just coasting through my life. On a typical day, I rise early, have a short devotion, walk with a friend, spend a few moments with my husband, drive my sister-in-law to work, have breakfast with my daughter, clean up the kitchen, do some chores, and take a shower. By the time I get myself ready to face the day, it is time for lunch! So I have lunch with my husband and daughter, and clean up the kitchen—again. On paper, this routine does not look like much, but it wears me out. I am always ready for a nap after lunch, but I rarely get one.

This month in particular has been filled with so many medical appointments, crises, special events, and chores that I hardly have the time to think or breathe. In particular, I recently received the disturbing news that I have a mass in my breast and need a biopsy. I have peace about this situation, but it nevertheless weighs on my mind and heart. Yesterday, I spent the entire afternoon on the couch. I could barely move. Eventually, I picked up a book and decided to read a few pages before cooking supper.

Those few pages addressed the subject of Sabbath rest, a time for sitting still before God and resting in Him. Later that night, I glanced through a few pages of my Guideposts magazine, and the one story that drew my attention was about having a Sabbath rest. Wow. God did it again. So I thought, “Okay, God, what about this Sabbath rest thing? What do you want me to do?” But before I got my answer, life happened.

My biopsy was scheduled for a Thursday, and on the preceding Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday my days were filled from morning to bedtime. When Thursday arrived, my life came to a screeching halt. Having the biopsy forced me to stop and rest for a little while, to sit at home and not to move, to be still and to listen for what God had for me to hear. As I listened, I heard the comforting message that He is in control, whether the mass is benign or malignant. (It is benign, by the way, but I had to wait from Thursday to the next Monday to get the pathology report.) In the meantime I was to rest in Him and to give Him all of the what-ifs that were trying to creep into my brain.

On the second day after the procedure, when I removed one of the bandages and took my first shower, I realized how far I had come concerning my body and medical check-ups where it was necessary for me to undress. I was very anxious, but I was not wearing that “I have been molested” badge, so therefore “I freak out if anyone sees or touches me.” That epiphany was great news to me. I thanked God that He had removed that apprehension from my life; I no longer become a basket case when I have a mammogram. I never expected to cross that hurdle, but in reality I had jumped cleanly over it and won that race with flying colors.

The other lesson that God showed me was that my husband and daughter love me to the extreme. Lately, I had felt unloved and unappreciated, losing myself because I was doing so much for the two of them. My husband’s job had become demanding, and I felt as if I were in second place in his life. Plus, all of my daughter’s medical issues had worn me out. But my dear husband and daughter rose to the occasion, doing my chores and waiting on me while I recuperated. What a gift!

God showed me that I need to practice this Sabbath rest more often. He used an urgent medical issue to make me slow down and stop, and now I am thankful that He did. God taught me to rest. Like the women who went to Jesus’ tomb to prepare his body for burial, but were forced to wait before they could accomplish their goal, I too had to abide by the instructions that God gives us in Luke 23:56b: “And on the Sabbath they rested according to the commandment” (NASB). 

I still have biopsy results to hear, I still have a busy husband, I still have a daughter with her own medical challenges, but I can walk so much easier now, because I have rested. Do you need a Sabbath rest, too? Do you need to stop and let God take over? Don’t wait until your life goes crazy. Plan your Sabbath rest now. Oh, the marvelous things that God will reveal to you when you step aside and wait. I would not have recognized and rejoiced over the victories in my life if I had not taken a Sabbath rest. Isn’t God good?

Blessings – Lisa

God is Faithful Today!

Posted on by under Faithfulness, Hope

Today I made an important discovery: After years of work, I am now on the other side of the mountain on my journey to freedom.

I was not able to go to counseling for about four months during my daughter’s recovery from foot surgery, and during that time my spiritual life was just on autopilot. I did not do much journaling, and I did not work on what I had learned in counseling. During those four months, I essentially became a recluse. But finally an opportunity arose where I could return to counseling. To prepare for my session with my counselor, I looked back through my journal. And I was awed by how much I had changed during the previous year, before my daughter’s surgery. I had resumed teaching Sunday School and singing in the church choir. I had begun to reconnect with people whom I had neglected.

Sitting face to face with my counselor, I tried to talk about what I had learned about myself and my relationships with family members, but instead I was forced to admit that one area of my life was just a train wreck. During my four months homebound with my daughter, I had gained weight and was wearing baggy clothes again. I had exercised less and eaten more than I should. As a result, I was depressed and even felt ugly again. But, sitting in my counselor’s office, I made up my mind not to go that route again, not to beat myself up and let Dumb, Stupid, and Ugly rule my life. So, instead of going off the deep end this time, I asked God for help with this dilemma. I needed some word, some encouragement.

God gave me the word that I needed, by reminding me of an incident in my life that had recently occurred. A few days before the session with my counselor, my daughter and I had actually started on a weight loss program together, one involving a point system. But I had experienced a disastrous failure early in the program when, in just one meal, I used not only all my points for the day but also wiped out a whole week’s worth of “extra” points. It was the first day of the week, and I had only the bare minimum of points left! Needless to say, I was upset with myself.

But here is where God spoke to me. He showed me that letting my spiritual life slide during my confinement at home was just like using all those weekly extra points at once. In the weight loss program, even if you use up all of your extra points, when a new day arrives you still have all of the points that you need for that day. I heard God say to me, “Today, you have all that you need for today.”

How I needed to hear that message. So today I reject Ugly and live again in the truth. Even though I messed up, I am able to start again. Lamentations 3:21-23 tells us, “This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. The LORD’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness” (NASB). Every day—every morning—I can walk and live and breathe and know that God is faithful, even when I am not.

What about you, dear Friend?  As you walk on the other side of the mountain, have you backtracked a little and feel frustrated? Take heart in this promise: His lovingkindness and compassion are new every morning. His grace, love, and mercy are new every morning. Therefore, we can start new every morning and know that today we have all that we need. What a happy thought for today. 

Blessings – Lisa

Living My Own Story

Posted on by under Happy Thoughts, Hope

One day, for a change, I turned on my television—something I seldom do—and watched part of a movie that I had never seen before. And I am so glad that I did, because there was a line of dialogue at the end that really rang true to me. It just kept whirling around inside my head, and I even wrote it in my journal so that I would not forget it. Here’s the line: “No man can walk out of his own story.” This quote just kept speaking to me.

My own story. My own story? At that time, I did not want to walk my own story. I wanted to be someone else and live her story, not mine. I did not want to be the one who had been molested as a child, and who still lived with the effects. I did not want to be the mother of a child who also had been molested and who was struggling with her own issues. I did not want that story! I wanted the story in which only good things had happened to us and continued to happen to my children and me. I wanted to rewrite my story and then to run and jump right into it. But alas, that happy story was not for me.

For some reason God had allowed me to live a story that was filling me with heartache and despair. And I cannot, no matter how much I would like to, walk out of my own story. But one thing that I can do is to choose how to respond and react to my story. That is something that I can change. I alone can change my attitudes and thoughts concerning the things that trouble me. I alone can choose not to dwell on the negative, but to change my mindset to the positive and remember all the good things that are a part of my life, too. I know that if I were to place all the negative things and all the positive things in my life on a scale, the good would absolutely outweigh the bad. So why did I focus so much on the negative?

Romans 12:1-2 says, “I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect (NAS).” Our world today is full of negative things. This world is Satan’s domain, and he wants to kill, steal, and destroy all that is good.

I needed to be transformed. I needed to be different from the way that I was. I needed to transform my mind and my life to what God has planned for me. Through this verse, God promises that, when I choose to renew my mind, I will find the story that God has for my life. He promises that my new story will be good and acceptable and perfect. This verse does not promise that everything that happens to me will be good and acceptable and perfect, but it does say that God’s will for my life, if I choose to live it, will be all those things.

It is hard to understand how that works. But when I choose to live and to believe the promise, then I am worshipping my God. So my choice is this: To know and believe that I am living the story that God has given me, or not to trust and believe but to grumble and complain and be unhappy. So I choose to dwell on the good that God has brought forth in my life in spite of all the hurtful things from my past. As a result, my faith has grown and my relationships are better. I have found true friends who are helping me through this journey.  These are just a couple of the wonderful positive gifts that are a part of my life now.

So, what about you? Is your mind dwelling only on the negative parts of your story? Do you want to run and jump into a different story that is not your own? Today, let us allow God to renew our minds and to show us the story that He has written just for us. He has promised that the story He gives us is good and acceptable and perfect. I want that story. Don’t you?

Blessings – Lisa