Category Archives: Happy Thoughts

The Quilt God is Making

Posted on by under Happy Thoughts, Hope, Uncategorized

For weeks following my surgery, I found myself going through a season of weariness, unmotivated and unable to write. Instead, I became consumed with reading a series of novels. I love to read mystery novels, but this time I left my comfort zone and picked up a book about quilting and quilters. And I don’t even like to sew! In fact, I gave my sewing machine away to my daughter-in-law, who uses it to create clothing and gifts for our grandchildren, for herself, and for others. Unlike my mother, who could visualize and then realize all sorts of sewing projects, I just cannot make sense of the patterns or the instructions. Fabric stores make me want to run out screaming.

So I do not know why I was drawn to this particular book at the library, when all I wanted was another mystery novel to read. But this particular book spoke to me, and I knew I had to read the entire series, and read it in order. And that’s what I have done, even though I have had to go to different libraries in different towns to find all of them. To date, I have finished fourteen of the novels. These books are all about women and their relationships as they struggle through tough situations. And today, finally, after all these weeks of apathy and aversion to writing the lessons that God places on my heart, I feel the need to write.

As I finished the fourteenth book, my heart was just bursting with gratitude to God for letting me see and believe a great truth and for giving me a word: quilting. That’s right. Quilting. But I had to ask God to explain what that word really means. God, what do you want me to see?

I have discovered that a quilter can use diverse materials including fabric from a store, hand-me-downs, old clothing, rags, scraps from other sewing projects, fine silk. Just about anything can be used to make a quilt. And quilts have many different uses. Quilts can tell stories, keep people warm, or constitute a dowry. They can be used as secret signals or be entered into competitions. Quilts are used for bed coverings, clothing, and art pieces.

Sometimes quilters work alone, and sometimes they work in groups. God, what are you saying to me through these books? The recurring theme through many of the novels is the idea of withstanding hard times. Even though troubling times come to every person’s life, a beautiful quilt can be wrought for that particular season. In the books, sometimes generations had to pass before the quilt was found and its story told, but the outcome was still beautiful.

This realization spoke to me today, for I have been struggling with the ugliness of life. I wrestle with the reality of the vicious, senseless pain that people inflict upon one another. Lives are broken, and all around me families are struggling with the same questions. God gave me this series of books about quilts to show me that something truly beautiful can come from the scraps of our lives if we choose to give those scraps to Him. Then He can cover us with His quilt, clothe us in His righteousness, and create a beautiful new story from the broken pieces of our lives.

God uses the good times and the bad times of our lives. He pieces together the different shades and hues just so, and the variety of His quilt patterns is endless. Each person’s quilt story is uniquely her own with her own patterns and colors. One day, when I am gone, my quilt will be a testimony of God’s working in my life—but only if I let Him quilt it. I can either refuse and run away and rip out the work He has done in my life, or I can trust in His handiwork and believe that the result will be beautiful to behold.

What about you? Are you struggling with all the pieces of your life? Is it hard for you to believe that God can use the bad as well as the good to make your life a beautiful quilt?

When I was in Boston, I attended a quilt exhibit at the Museum of Fine Arts. The quilts were magnificent! The color choices, materials, and patterns seemed limitless. I was amazed by the time and effort spent on each quilt. Even the smallest detail was not overlooked as the quilter completed his or her masterpiece. That is just like our God. Every single second of your life, God has been working on your quilt and He will not stop working on it until He has decided that it is finished and complete.

Ephesians 2:10 begins, “For we are His workmanship.” Isn’t that a wonderful picture? God is working on us, and we can see why He is doing that, for the verse continues, “created in Christ Jesus for good works […] (NAS).” Believe with me today that our heavenly Quiltmaker knows what He is doing and He will not finish your quilt until every single stitch is just as He wants it to be. And then, it will be a beautiful thing to behold.

Blessings – Lisa 

Living My Own Story

Posted on by under Happy Thoughts, Hope

One day, for a change, I turned on my television—something I seldom do—and watched part of a movie that I had never seen before. And I am so glad that I did, because there was a line of dialogue at the end that really rang true to me. It just kept whirling around inside my head, and I even wrote it in my journal so that I would not forget it. Here’s the line: “No man can walk out of his own story.” This quote just kept speaking to me.

My own story. My own story? At that time, I did not want to walk my own story. I wanted to be someone else and live her story, not mine. I did not want to be the one who had been molested as a child, and who still lived with the effects. I did not want to be the mother of a child who also had been molested and who was struggling with her own issues. I did not want that story! I wanted the story in which only good things had happened to us and continued to happen to my children and me. I wanted to rewrite my story and then to run and jump right into it. But alas, that happy story was not for me.

For some reason God had allowed me to live a story that was filling me with heartache and despair. And I cannot, no matter how much I would like to, walk out of my own story. But one thing that I can do is to choose how to respond and react to my story. That is something that I can change. I alone can change my attitudes and thoughts concerning the things that trouble me. I alone can choose not to dwell on the negative, but to change my mindset to the positive and remember all the good things that are a part of my life, too. I know that if I were to place all the negative things and all the positive things in my life on a scale, the good would absolutely outweigh the bad. So why did I focus so much on the negative?

Romans 12:1-2 says, “I urge you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect (NAS).” Our world today is full of negative things. This world is Satan’s domain, and he wants to kill, steal, and destroy all that is good.

I needed to be transformed. I needed to be different from the way that I was. I needed to transform my mind and my life to what God has planned for me. Through this verse, God promises that, when I choose to renew my mind, I will find the story that God has for my life. He promises that my new story will be good and acceptable and perfect. This verse does not promise that everything that happens to me will be good and acceptable and perfect, but it does say that God’s will for my life, if I choose to live it, will be all those things.

It is hard to understand how that works. But when I choose to live and to believe the promise, then I am worshipping my God. So my choice is this: To know and believe that I am living the story that God has given me, or not to trust and believe but to grumble and complain and be unhappy. So I choose to dwell on the good that God has brought forth in my life in spite of all the hurtful things from my past. As a result, my faith has grown and my relationships are better. I have found true friends who are helping me through this journey.  These are just a couple of the wonderful positive gifts that are a part of my life now.

So, what about you? Is your mind dwelling only on the negative parts of your story? Do you want to run and jump into a different story that is not your own? Today, let us allow God to renew our minds and to show us the story that He has written just for us. He has promised that the story He gives us is good and acceptable and perfect. I want that story. Don’t you?

Blessings – Lisa

Precious Gifts

Posted on by under Cats, Happy Thoughts, Hope, Uncategorized

Most of these blogs have been very difficult for me to write and have involved great upheaval of body, soul, and spirit. There have been a few happy thoughts sprinkled here and there among them, but the majority of these posts have dealt with me and my struggle as God worked in my life. Last week I wrote about how God worked on removing a black speck from my heart, directing me to do a difficult job which I accomplished with great love and peace. God used me to provide comfort for one in need, and then He surprised me.

Driving home that day, I reflected on how great God is and enjoyed the knowledge that I had been obedient. Feeling very tired and very happy, I pulled under my carport and discovered a gift there for me. It was my cat, the one that had been missing for two months. She sat there, looking at me as if she had never left, never disappeared from my life. She looked exactly the same—no ribs poking out, no scars or wounds—as if someone had just picked her up one day, cared for her for two months, and then gently deposited her back under my carport.

In my heart, I heard God say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Here is your reward.” What joy filled my heart! I know that this sounds crazy to some of you, but I cannot describe the love I felt at that moment flowing from my heavenly Father. I was humbled by His gift, and excited to work even harder toward my goal of a spotless heart.

Soon, I received another reward for my efforts to remove that black speck from my heart. God gave me the opportunity to minister to someone else, someone who was going through exactly the same cleansing that I had just experienced. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our afflictions so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (NAS).

With this other struggling woman, I described my personal challenges and my depression, and explained to her about the black speck in my heart and what God had called me to do. I encouraged her to follow my example so that we could be free together. I prayed for her, and told her that I loved her, and promised to be available to her any time she felt the need to talk.

So many people had ministered to me throughout the past year. I knew that I would not have come so far in my journey without their help—without their encouragement, without their taking me to the grocery store or counseling sessions, without their believing in me when I had lost hope. They continued to be my friends even when I could not be much of a friend myself. And now God was giving me the chance to comfort someone else with the comfort He had given to me.

This was huge. Finally, I began to see that there WAS light at the end of my journey. Oh, what joy! I was finally able to look around and see the needs of others and to have words to share with them because I had been there myself.

God wants to give you precious gifts because He loves you so much. Sometimes He gives us gifts for no particular reason, and then other times He rewards us for some work we have done for His glory. And then, as we are comforted by God Himself, we are able to comfort those around us. Is there someone God wants you to comfort today? All around us are men and women who have been hurt, molested, used and abused, and who struggle with the same woes as we do. Perhaps they are traveling along journeys toward healing and need our words of encouragement. Allow God to show you today. Comfort those who need comforting. Let us do that today, because I am here to tell you that there is light at the end of this journey to healing. I can see it, just around the next bend.

Blessings – Lisa

Peace Of Mind, Even In Stressful Situations

Posted on by under Counseling, Fear, Happy Thoughts, Uncategorized

Mother knows best. My mother taught me that there are some things in life that have to be done annually. Every year I get my teeth cleaned and my eyes checked. And I have taught my children—and my husband—to do the same thing, too. I read somewhere that having all these annual appointments during the same month of the year, your birthday month, allows you always to know when to go. So when your children are grown and on their own, they can always remember when to get their teeth cleaned and their eyes checked.

For me, of course, these annual appointments also include the dreaded obstetrical appointment. Every year, during my birthday month, I go for my annual exam. Like many women, I really despise my yearly checkup. Then, as I got older, the annual mammogram was thrown into the mix. I have never been able to make myself self-examine my breasts, probably because of residual effects of my abuse. I have read about the benefits of doing monthly self-exams, and I know in theory how to do them, but I just cannot.

At some point, I became aware that my stress level during this month of annual doctors’ visits was increasing. In particular, I realized that as the doctors’ appointments approached I would start binge-eating and often gain several pounds just in time for my annual weigh-in. Over the course of several years, I discovered that my weight-gains followed a cycle. The anticipation of my annual physical was so traumatic for me that I would just go to pieces over it. I had friends go with me for support, and for a while I stopped getting mammograms altogether.

Then I started going to counseling. When the time came for me to schedule my yearly appointments, I really wanted things to be different. I did not want to binge or have a breakdown. I wanted to be calm and peaceful. I hated that my birthday month had become an unhappy time every year. So I brought up my problem to my counselor and she reminded me (again) that my abuse was something awful that had been done to me and not something that I had brought onto myself. She also reminded me that these annual doctors’ visits benefit my health, not only for my sake but for my husband’s and children’s sakes as well.

About a week before my annual checkup, my counselor taught me a “safe place” relaxation technique. As I went into my appointment, I was to go to my safe place and relax. I was actually excited about the prospect of going to the obstetrician, using my new relaxation skill, and then reporting back the next week during counseling. I am here to tell you that God worked in a mighty way! My exam went great, the best ever! And the next thing I knew, I was even through with my mammogram. It was unbelievable that I got through both appointments in only two hours. It happened so fast that I just sat in my car afterwards, stunned and in awe of God’s goodness and timing. These annual checkups that had caused me so much anguish for so many years had just flown by.

So, I am here to encourage you today. Do you struggle with this same issue? Do you need peace of mind? John 14:27 says, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (NIV). God can give you peace of mind, and God will give you peace of mind. You just have to remember, as I have to remember, that although something evil was done to us we can move past that and not let it influence our lives today. Grab God’s hand, go with Him to that safe place, and enjoy peace of mind.

Blessings – Lisa

Happy Thoughts and a Great Reward

Posted on by under Anger, Cats, Counseling, depression, disassociation, Happy Thoughts, Uncategorized

Today I awoke feeling as if I should write about happy thoughts. But somewhere along the way I got busy, busy, busy trying to get ready for a trip. I’ve been too distracted to focus on any one thing and haven’t gotten anything accomplished. Finally God spoke to my heart and said, “Enough is enough. I want you to stop now and write. You will be ready for your trip when the time comes, but I want you to write this now.”

So, here I am, sitting and waiting to hear from God what He wants me to write. Happy thoughts? I ask myself to recall some of the good things that have happened during this journey from depression into freedom. And, as I look out the door this morning, I see one of the gifts that God has brought me. He brought two cats into my life. They literally just showed up out of nowhere. You may not think that there’s anything extraordinary about that, but they have become very special to me.

All of my life I have been highly allergic to cats. If I were in the same room with one I would have an attack of some sort and then have to leave the premises. But God, in His infinite wisdom, brought me two cats that live outside. I pet them and hold them, but I have never had an allergy attack. They have brought such comfort to me, especially during the days when everyone in my family would be gone and I felt so alone. The cats never cared if I cried; they just sat in my lap and purred. My husband and daughter thought I had gone loony when the cats showed up, but I know that God brought them to me. I cannot imagine life without them now.

Another happy thought that God has brought back into my mind has to do with music. Looking at my journal, I am reminded of all the times that God gave me just the right song at just the right time on just the right occasion. One song in particular would come on the radio for me to hear on some of my darkest days. Once, when I really needed encouragement, I heard that song twice in just a few hours, on two different radio stations. My amazing God orchestrated that for me.

At certain points in my life, a few particular songs held bad associations for me, reminders of a very hurtful time that caused deep pain that I feared would never be resolved. But the happiest thought I have today is how God has taken away my hatred for those songs. There was a time when just hearing those songs made me angry and I would have to turn off the radio, but now I am able to appreciate them again.

My intense hatred for those songs and the anger they stirred inside me had really surprised me. But the Enemy can use anything to cause hurt and pain and agony. (There are other noises that still bother me today, noises that I associate with my molestation. I have learned that certain smells, colors, or images can trigger memories and bring on a violent reaction.) But with God’s help, there has been forgiveness and resolution of that hurtful situation, and that relationship has been transformed and made new. So today, as I rushed around trying to pack for my trip and get the house in order, I heard one of the songs that had had such a negative connotation for me. I stopped in my tracks. When I heard that song, I was amazed. I no longer felt the pain and the agony, but was able to enjoy that song once again.

Oh, what a happy thought! What a joy! It was as if God were saying to me, “Yes, this difficult situation has had healing and, yes, you can have a song in your heart once more.” Isn’t that a wondrous thing?

Is there something in your life that the Enemy is using to cause you grief and agony? Let me share Hebrews 10:35-36 with you today: “Therefore, do not throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised” (NAS). You see I had to endure and work through my situation. Don’t throw away the confidence concerning your own situation.

Do the will of God, work hard, and believe that God can take any noise, any color, any smell, or any song and turn it into a happy thought. His Word calls it a great reward, a promise from God Himself. He wants you to sing a song in your heart and be free from hurting, pain, and agony. Sit with me now, and let’s think about the happy things that God has brought into our lives. Be still. Listen. He wants to whisper those happy thoughts to you right now.

Blessings – Lisa