Monthly Archives: October 2018

Precious Gifts

Posted on by under Cats, Happy Thoughts, Hope, Uncategorized

Most of these blogs have been very difficult for me to write and have involved great upheaval of body, soul, and spirit. There have been a few happy thoughts sprinkled here and there among them, but the majority of these posts have dealt with me and my struggle as God worked in my life. Last week I wrote about how God worked on removing a black speck from my heart, directing me to do a difficult job which I accomplished with great love and peace. God used me to provide comfort for one in need, and then He surprised me.

Driving home that day, I reflected on how great God is and enjoyed the knowledge that I had been obedient. Feeling very tired and very happy, I pulled under my carport and discovered a gift there for me. It was my cat, the one that had been missing for two months. She sat there, looking at me as if she had never left, never disappeared from my life. She looked exactly the same—no ribs poking out, no scars or wounds—as if someone had just picked her up one day, cared for her for two months, and then gently deposited her back under my carport.

In my heart, I heard God say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. Here is your reward.” What joy filled my heart! I know that this sounds crazy to some of you, but I cannot describe the love I felt at that moment flowing from my heavenly Father. I was humbled by His gift, and excited to work even harder toward my goal of a spotless heart.

Soon, I received another reward for my efforts to remove that black speck from my heart. God gave me the opportunity to minister to someone else, someone who was going through exactly the same cleansing that I had just experienced. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our afflictions so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (NAS).

With this other struggling woman, I described my personal challenges and my depression, and explained to her about the black speck in my heart and what God had called me to do. I encouraged her to follow my example so that we could be free together. I prayed for her, and told her that I loved her, and promised to be available to her any time she felt the need to talk.

So many people had ministered to me throughout the past year. I knew that I would not have come so far in my journey without their help—without their encouragement, without their taking me to the grocery store or counseling sessions, without their believing in me when I had lost hope. They continued to be my friends even when I could not be much of a friend myself. And now God was giving me the chance to comfort someone else with the comfort He had given to me.

This was huge. Finally, I began to see that there WAS light at the end of my journey. Oh, what joy! I was finally able to look around and see the needs of others and to have words to share with them because I had been there myself.

God wants to give you precious gifts because He loves you so much. Sometimes He gives us gifts for no particular reason, and then other times He rewards us for some work we have done for His glory. And then, as we are comforted by God Himself, we are able to comfort those around us. Is there someone God wants you to comfort today? All around us are men and women who have been hurt, molested, used and abused, and who struggle with the same woes as we do. Perhaps they are traveling along journeys toward healing and need our words of encouragement. Allow God to show you today. Comfort those who need comforting. Let us do that today, because I am here to tell you that there is light at the end of this journey to healing. I can see it, just around the next bend.

Blessings – Lisa

Bam! I made the choice to love.

Posted on by under depression, Forgiveness, Uncategorized

I spent months of my life diligently working to clean out the black spots in my heart. I dealt with forgiving others, had a few relapses, and then strove to forgive them again. That’s when I began to enjoy the benefits of the freedom that forgiveness brings. My heart was so light. I even resumed some of the activities and obligations that I had had to give up, and other people started to notice the changes in my life. I knew I was getting closer and closer to the end of my journey toward wellness. My victories were preparing me to face a big hurdle yet to come, but the end was in sight. I felt great!

Of course, that’s when God decided to work on a black speck in my heart. It was just a tiny speck, but it had to be erased like all the other black spots if I were to finish my journey. I had to deal with it face-on before I could move on. Isn’t that just like God? He cares so much for me that He doesn’t want even a speck to come between me and the freedom that He has to offer.

At this point of my healing, I thought that I had already forgiven all the people in my life who had caused me pain and against whom I had harbored ill feelings. I thought I was past that point. Unfortunately, however, there was one more relationship in my life that needed attention, and God was calling me to do more than just forgive this woman. She needed my help. Before, when I had dealt with other damaged relationships, I had been able to release the offending person to God privately, without direct confrontation. But this time, God wanted me to handle the situation in a completely different manner. He wanted me to take care of this person in her hour of need.

Wait a minute, God.

I did not love this woman, so how was I supposed to minister to her physical and emotional needs? I did not love her? This realization sparked a heart-wrenching battle.

Oh, God, You alone can help me out of this dilemma.

The situation was very painful. I had come so far, but now this new battle was threatening to send me back into the pit of despair. In fact, I went into a deep depression, so bad that I couldn’t get out of bed or get dressed. I was barely functioning. God commanded me to care for this person physically and emotionally, but my heart just wouldn’t cooperate. I wanted to be a godly woman. I wanted to be obedient. My head knew the Truth, but it hadn’t moved to my soul yet.

How can I do this? How, God? Change me!

In the fourth chapter of I John, John uses the word love in almost every line. Verse 7: “[Let] us love one another…, love is from God…, everyone who loves is born of God and knows God.” Verse 8: “The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” Verse 11: “Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” Verse 12: “[I]f we love one another, God abides in us, and His love is perfected in us” (NASB). On and on, John writes about love. Verse 17: “Love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence.”

Confidence: that is the word that makes the difference. I have come so far and been obedient to God for so long, and I can do it again because I have confidence that God is Faithful. By emotionally and physically ministering to this person, I can rid my heart of that troublesome black speck. Oh, what joy, what victory, what excitement!

Remarkably, this particular setback lasted only one day. That in itself was part of the victory. One day of struggling and weeping and depression, and then—bam!—I gained the confidence to love someone who, for me, was unlovable. I knew that I could follow God’s command and do it with real love. I could, and I did.

Is there some black speck in your life that God wants to work on? Give it to Him. Has He called you to do something that seems impossible? Do it. Remember your past victories and use the confidence from those victories to move forward today. Today! Don’t take another year, another month, even another week, but do it today. This is my testimony to you, Oh Friend. We can have the victory today. We may wake up defeated, but at the end of the day we can go to bed victorious. Believe it. With God’s help, we can live a victorious life.

Blessings – Lisa

From A Black Maze to A Place of Contentment

Posted on by under Counseling, Fear, Hope, Uncategorized

At a certain point in my counseling, I realized that I had “hit a wall” in my healing process. There was a blackness in my mind that I could not penetrate, and I felt as if some hidden thing lurking inside me was holding me in bondage. I was right on the edge of working through this obstacle, but I just could not get through the black maze. Memories were trapped there in the blackness.

My counselor advised me to create a “safe place” to which I could retreat when the time finally came that I did penetrate that blackness and begin to drive it away, a place in my mind where I could rest whenever my emotions or thoughts became too upsetting or too hard to handle. This exercise also included choosing a name for my safe place. I chose the name Contentment. According to the dictionary, contentment is the state of being contented, and contented means feeling satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation. Contentment is a feeling of calm satisfaction.

On the very day that I created my place of Contentment, after I left my counseling session, my new feeling of calm satisfaction was put to the test. When I got home, I realized that one of my pet cats was missing. You may remember that God had sent me two cats that had become sources of real joy to me, so to find that one of them was gone made me very sad. As I sat and meditated about the situation, I realized that my accustomed response to this type of challenge would have been extreme sadness accompanied by weeping and deep depression.

However, this time I felt different. I felt sad, but there was also a calmness about me. I felt contentment in the situation because my sadness was not controlling my life. I knew that I could move on and not be defeated by my extreme emotions. Some people may not consider this to be a very important thing, but to me it was a huge accomplishment. It was a great victory in my life. And I knew that my winning these battles in the small things would prepare me for the larger battles along my path to healing.

As the week progressed, I used my new place of Contentment to deal with other stressful situations, including a confrontational encounter with a difficult person. God used these opportunities to build my confidence.

In Psalm 27:1-4 He says, “The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid? When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident” (NIV).

I may have that blackness in my mind for now, but God is the light that will shine through it. I will not fear. The Lord will be my stronghold and help me advance toward healing and wholeness. I will not be afraid. Even though emotions and bad memories try to ruin my life, attack me, and beat me down, I will be confident. God has helped me with the small battles so that I can win the big ones.

Verses 5-6 tell me, “For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in his dwelling; He will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.” Oh what joy to be safe in His dwelling and to be on a rock, not hidden in a cave somewhere cowering from the enemy! I can declare with the Psalmist what is written in verses 13-14: “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Yes! I am confident that goodness will come out of all that I have experienced and all that I will experience in the future. But for now I must wait. I will be strong and I will wait.

Is there some difficult thing in your future that holds the key to your healing? Do you, too, need to find a safe place? What is the word that God has just for you? Rest in this assurance: God wants to keep you safe in your day of trouble. You are a victor, and God wants to set you high on a rock for all to see. Have confidence and wait on Him. Wait, and be strong.

Blessings – Lisa