Category Archives: Prayer

The Good Shepherd

Posted on by under Counseling, Hope, Prayer

Even now, my counseling sessions have been extremely difficult. I have had a few helpful glimpses into the dark corners of my past, but I just cannot seem to gather enough courage to face the true story of what really happened to me as a child. Though I have made progress, the deepest part of me is still numb, and I cannot dispel the extreme fear that I feel. But when I needed encouragement before attending another counseling session, God directed me to A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 by W. Phillip Keller.

As I read this book, I stopped often to pray what I was learning over one of my daughters. Oh, how I want her to know the Good Shepherd and to know how much he cares for her personally. She bears the broken, hurting heart of her own trauma. So, I stand in the gap for her and pray God’s Word into her life. On one particular day, I prayed over her the lesson from Psalm 23:2, “He makes me lie down in green pastures (NIV).” Keller, a real-life shepherd, writes that sheep will not lie down and be at rest unless they are completely free of fear and anxiety. The only person who can give them this assurance is the shepherd himself. His diligent management and care makes it possible “for them to lie down, to rest, to relax, to be content and quiet and flourishing” (Keller 42).

At this time my daughter, who had moved to a new state and started a new job, had fallen ill. She was already experiencing doubts about her job and her future, and being sick only added to her misery. In his book, Keller relates a story about how he responded once to sheep rustlers who threatened his flock. He, the shepherd, did what it took to keep them safe: he camped out with his sheep night after night until the rustlers became discouraged and left the area. So I started praying for this type of protection for my daughter, for the Good Shepherd to do whatever it took to keep her safe from the “rustlers” of this world. I entreated Christ to be present with her, to “dispel the fear, the panic, the terror of the unknown” (Keller 44).

As I prayed over my daughter, I was standing on a chair, cleaning a light fixture that probably had not been dusted in decades. I prayed and cleaned and hoped that I would not fall off the chair or break the light fixture. When I finished cleaning it, I stepped off the chair and took a close look. Wow! I could not believe my eyes. The cut glass of the fixture, newly cleaned, threw a beautiful pattern of light onto the ceiling and the room was suddenly so bright! I was amazed.

Then I heard God say, “You are like that light fixture.” I realized that, as I prayed over my daughter, I also needed to have my own fear and anxiety “dusted” away. Looking at the bright light now illuminating my ceiling gave me hope. I knew God was telling me that, when I eventually work through my situation, I will be like that light—clean, bright, and beautiful to behold. The Good Shepherd is working diligently in my life so that I will one day find contentment and be able to “lie down in green pastures.” My fear and numbness will be replaced with flourishing feelings.

Oh, dear Friend, the Good Shepherd will also do whatever it takes to protect you and allow you to lie down in contentment. One day our dust-covered hearts will be fully cleaned so that our lives can give forth a beautiful light to those around us. I am thankful for the Good Shepherd. Aren’t you?

Blessings – Lisa

Content with the Person God created me to be

Posted on by under Counseling, Hope, Prayer

I have been struggling with who I am as a person. Though I have advanced far in my journey toward wholeness and freedom, there are still some things—particularly my introverted tendencies—with which I struggle. I found an article in Guideposts magazine about overcoming depression, written by a woman who had difficulties going to the grocery store! Of course, this caught my attention. I now had written documentation that I was not the only one who suffered with this embarrassing, heart-breaking dilemma.

Two other points in the article also spoke to me. The author asserted that God had made her introverted and that being introverted is okay. She also emphasized that she has had to accept herself as she is and not as she wishes to be. She writes, “The very things I like least about myself, indeed, may be those He values most” (Sherrill 64). What a novel thought. It is okay that I am content to sit at home and pray and write cards. Lately, I have felt the most urgent need to write prayers, words of encouragement, words of wisdom, and Scriptures to my children and grandchildren. (Now, if I sat at home all day every day and never left the house, that would be a whole other story. Rest assured that even though I spend more time at home now than in previous years, I still spend intentional time with my friends.)

I broached this issue with my counselor, and she shared with me the concept of analyzing my SHAPE as a person. SHAPE is an acronym representing different aspects of one’s being. As we talked and she quizzed me in depth about my likes and preferences, my SHAPE emerged:

            S—Spiritual Gifts                     Teaching and encouragement

            H—Heart/Passions                  Prayer

            A—Abilities/Talents                Organization

            P—Personality                          Introvert

            E—Experiences of Life            Molestation, my children’s struggles

Wow! I look at that list and feel such freedom. Because I have a passion for praying for my children and others, it is okay that I am being more diligent, organized, and intentional about doing it. Don’t writers go away to be by themselves to write and painters slip away to be alone to paint? So I have permission to find a quiet place to pray and to write cards of encouragement to those whom God brings to my mind. It is okay for me to forego buying conventional souvenirs when we take trips and to get thinking-of-you cards instead. My family thinks I am a little nutty now, but that is okay with me because I am becoming more and more content with the person God created me to be.

What about you? Are you depressed about your SHAPE because all you see are weaknesses or undesirable traits? Do you ever wish you could be someone else, or not have had the life experiences that God allowed in your life? Remember that even my molestation and all the problems it has caused over the years are part of my SHAPE now, and God can use even that.

Read this verse carefully, looking at it phrase by phrase. Colossians 3:15 assures us with, “And let the peace (soul harmony which comes) from the Christ rule (act as umpire continually) in your hearts—deciding and settling with finality all questions that arise in your minds—(in that peaceful state) to which (as members of Christ’s) one body you were also called (to live). And be thankful—appreciative, giving praise to God always” (Amplified Bible).

Friend, embrace the peaceful soul harmony of knowing that God created you to be the SHAPE that you are. Once you know and accept yourself as He created you, those questions are settled forever and you can live in the way He designed you to live. But always remember to give Him praise for His infinite grace, mercy, and wisdom in your life. How I pray that we can settle the matter in our hearts and live in the peace that Christ has for us. I am praying for you even now.

Blessings – Lisa

Elizabeth Sherrill, Guideposts, April 2014, pp. 60-64

SHAPE: developed by Rick Warren of Saddleback Church

Looking In From The Outside

Posted on by under depression, Prayer

Depression is such a crazy, confusing, frustrating thing. I absolutely hate it, but I find myself there more often than I care to admit. Unfortunately, other members of my family also struggle with depression. We are all on the road to recovery, thankfully, but we are at various stages in counseling and in different phases of depression. As the mother and caregiver for two daughters, I find great difficulty in dealing with their emotions while I am walking down the same path myself.

During those stressful days when both of our daughters had moved home out of necessity, one week in particular was just horrible. There were days upon days filled with the girls’ crying, angry outbursts, selfish behavior, and even shutting themselves in their rooms.  I was constantly saying the wrong thing to them and making matters worse. Sometimes they would not even get out of bed in the morning, so it became my responsibility to get them up and out of the house. I had to keep our day-to-day lives going: wash, clean, cook, iron, pay bills, and do whatever else it took to keep the household from falling apart. On some days, I longed to be the one who was crying, who stayed curled up in my bed in my room. But I just kept going.

Finally, one Saturday, I had just had enough. My heart hurt. I needed encouragement or a word of wisdom from God. So He gave me a picture. As I stood at my kitchen sink, looking out the window, our cat suddenly jumped up onto the window ledge outside. She just sat there, staring at me with her huge yellow eyes. She watched me as I worked in the kitchen. I could feel her longing to be inside the house with me, but she was outside looking in. I realized that all she could see from that windowsill was me, working in the kitchen. 

I felt much like that cat concerning my daughters. I wanted to come inside their heads and know what was going on in their minds, but all I could get was a small glimpse into their lives. I could not understand them because, like the cat that could only see into my kitchen, I could only see the girls’ outward behavior. What was going on inside their hearts, souls, and minds was hidden from me. I longed to know my daughters’ struggles and what caused them to cry, why they turned away from me and hid inside their rooms. There were so many unanswered questions. Living with them but knowing that I could not “fix” them or protect them was very painful for me. The hurtful past was still influencing their lives these many years later. I was so sad. I left my kitchen, went away and wept.

But then God spoke to me through my tears. He reminded me that my girls were not alone in their houses of grief. He promised me that He was there in their houses with them. All I could see was the girls’ kitchens—and I could not see God there—but in the other rooms of their houses He was working. I needed to believe that. Just as my cat had been sitting on the ledge looking through the kitchen window into that one room, I realized that I could only see a small portion of what was happening in their lives. I could not see God in their lives, but I had to believe that He really was there.

Matthew 7: 24-25 says, “Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine, and acts upon them, may be compared to a wise man, who built his house upon the rock. And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and burst against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded upon the rock” (NAS). What my girls needed from me was prayer for their spiritual foundations, so that their houses would not fall. I had been neglecting my prayer time for them, but I now realized that I needed to repent and pray for them as they struggled on their paths to wholeness and healing.

Do you know someone who struggles with depression? Do you feel helpless, not knowing what to do to help her? Pray for her foundation. Pray for her to allow God full access to all the rooms of her house. He is the only One who can keep her life from falling apart. We can only peer into the lives of our loved ones through small windows, but God alone lives in their houses with them. Start praying today.

Moving From My Head to My Heart

Posted on by under Hope, Prayer, Uncategorized

God has revealed to me that I am not a disappointment to Him, and that He loves me dearly. He has shown me that, through His Son, I can have real understanding of what is true. But these revelations came at great cost, through intense personal struggling. As I meditated on these great truths, I asked God to show me something good that has come out of all my pain and suffering.

God whispered to me to think about my prayer life and what it has become because of this adversity. He wanted me to look through my journal, paying close attention to what I had written during times of hardship, to see what had happened to my prayer life over the past few months and years. What I saw in my journal entries opened my eyes. I realized that there had indeed been times when I had lost hope, but then, somewhere along the way, I saw a change.

I have always believed in the power of prayer. I am involved with the prayer committee at my church and have helped plan prayer-emphasis services. I have been active with Moms in Prayer International (formerly Moms in Touch International) for over twenty years. For over fifteen years, I have met with the same friend to pray for our children and their schools. On many mornings, I have sat at the front window of my house and watched my daughter’s friends drive by on their way to school; they would honk their car horns at me, and I would pray for them. I strongly believe that prayer changes things.

Prayer is a form of protection against the evil forces that want to kill, steal, and destroy the world around me. But, honestly, at times my prayer life has lacked a little something. When I started my journey of deep depression, I even stopped praying altogether, apart from my regular meetings with my Moms in Prayer friend. She was so faithful and always there to keep me going. Without her, I probably would have given up that prayer time, too.

But all that had changed. It changed when prayer became not a daily habit but a daily need. I had to pray to make it through the day. I had to pray to forgive others. I had to pray against bitterness. I had to pray for the removal of my obsessive thoughts. Prayer became more personal to me, a part of my very being.

But just as I was praying for myself, I had to pray for others, especially for those who were my “enemies.” God was calling me to pray daily for those people who had hurt me and even betrayed me. Then as my healing progressed, I realized that other people around me also needed to be free from the very things that had held me captive. I began to feel a burden to pray for others who did not know God and who were facing sorrow and uncertainty. I grieved that so many people were heading down the road to doom and destruction. So I cried out to God for direction in my praying. For whom should I pray? There are so many.

First, God told me to be more diligent in praying for my family. So I started praying specific prayers for the individual, personal needs of my husband and my children and my grandchildren. I especially prayed for their character growth and their walks with the Lord.

Okay, God, who’s next? Who else needs to be lifted up?

God gave me a mission. He told me to pray for a particular group of people with whom I was indirectly involved but did not know well. I collected their names and added them to my prayer list. These were people that I knew were not saved or, if they were, were living far from their faith. I began to pray for them diligently, understanding all along that I may never know the answer to those prayers. And, this time, my heart was different.

My prayers had moved from my head to my heart. And if my prayers could help even one person find freedom in Christ then I wanted to stand in the gap for that one person. In Nehemiah 4:7 we find these words: “[A]nd the men of Ashdod heard that the repairs to Jerusalem’s walls had gone ahead and that the gaps were being closed, they were very angry” (NIV). I want to be able to write in my journal one day that the gaps of unbelief are being closed and that the enemy is very angry. I want to see these young people that God has laid on my heart turn toward God and away from bondage. I want to see my family walking whole-heartedly with the Lord, too.

Friend, to what specific mission is God calling you, what task has come out of your troubled journey? Do not resist Him any longer, but ask Him what He would have you do, and then do it! Only you can fulfill the purpose that has been designed just for you. Oh, that your trials would lead you to a deeper walk with Christ. Ask Him today.

Blessings – Lisa