Ugly’s dominance in my life influenced what I wore on a daily basis. I started wearing loose-fitting clothes. I gained weight. I never bought new clothes for myself. Baggy shorts and pants and t-shirts became my uniform. I needed help to rid myself of Ugly.
My counselor gave me an assignment. Go shopping and buy some clothes that are flattering and dressier than my t-shirt collection. But that was one thing that I really could not do by myself. If I had gone into a store by myself at that time, I probably would have just stood there, and then left. Thankfully, I had a good friend who literally stuck me in a dressing room and brought me clothes after clothes to try on. Later, she even went shopping for me and brought bags of clothes to my house for me to try on.
Then came the big day when I had to actually wear one of my outfits when I went out to lunch with a group of friends. I pulled on the pants, and started crying uncontrollably. I had to call my friend, because I didn’t think I could do it. Ugly was trying to wreck my freedom. He didn’t want me to look good. I cried and cried, but I finally got dressed and went out to lunch. When one of the men in the group paid me a compliment and noticed how nice I looked, I didn’t get up and run away or feel the compulsion to gorge.
I was finally beginning to believe the truth that I really am fearfully and wonderfully made, and that God loves me bunches. What a huge hurdle I overcame that day! I was able to dress in an attractive, appropriate outfit without wondering whether I was drawing too much attention to myself or somehow enticing unwanted notice. Of course, there were many more hurdles to come, but it has been these baby steps that have given me the confidence to keep going.
Dear friend, have you been hiding yourself behind your clothes? Would you rather just disappear and hope that no one notices that you live on this planet? God assures us in Psalm 139:14 that He made you just as you are and that His workmanship is wonderful. He wants us to be confident men and women and to live out among people. Would you rest in that thought today? He loves you very much. Say it. I know God loves me very much!
Blessings – Lisa