Everyone has some sort of fear. So many different things in life can cause fear and anxiety: things, people, places, animals. The list seems endless.
I personally have an intense fear of spiders. Regardless of how large or small it is, a spider really creeps me out. I cannot watch television episodes or movie scenes that have spiders in them. If I see a picture of a spider in a book, I immediately close the book or turn the page quickly. Every nightmare I have ever had has been a dream with a spider in it. And if I see one in my house, it must be destroyed or I will not be able to function because I will be constantly looking for it.
Fear is just that way. It causes people to retreat, to close the books on their lives, and always to be on the lookout. Fear keeps people frozen so that they cannot do what needs to be done. Unfortunately, I passed my fear of spiders on to my children . So I decided that I had to start dealing with my fears, for my children’s sake as well as for my own. I wanted to be free and to be able to walk through life without being held back.
I had another fear in my life that cripples me as much as my fear of spiders. I was afraid of a closed bedroom door. What’s so scary or fearful about that? But ever since I could remember, I could not sleep in a room with the door closed. As a child, I would cry if a babysitter tried to close my bedroom door after my brother and I had been put to bed for the night. Even after I was married and the mother of three, I still could not sleep with a closed door. I often wondered why it mattered so much, but it was huge. I just could not sleep with the bedroom door closed.
So God said, “Let’s work on your fear of the closed door.”
As memories of my molestation began to resurface, I realized that bad things had happened behind closed doors. Rooms with closed doors were not safe places. It was strange to me that I had never feared the dark–only closed doors. Even now as I write this I want to weep for the little girl who was hurt behind those closed doors. She was so small and innocent, never knowing why those things had to happen.
It was difficult at first, but with the help of my godly counselor I was able to walk through the pain and the fear. Over and over, she had to remind me that those things were done to me, they were not something that I had brought on myself. I had to let go of the shame and know that I did not have to fear any more.
Over and over, I have had to claim 2 Timothy 1:7, “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity–of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear–but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control” (Amplified). A calm and well-balance mind. How marvelous is our God! He can take our fears and give us instead a mind that is whole, so that we can move on and do the work that He has called us to do.
Are you living in fear and shame because of what someone did to you? Well, then, stop cringing and cowering in fear, and give those fears to God. He wants to give you rest and calmness and a well-balanced mind. Turn to Him today.
Blessings – Lisa